Kept asking myself what I am meant to do , how I use my gifts , what are they , how do I get there. Then just pop in my head - password for the key to open is music.
Just made a huge click, but I just then opened a door of testing and practicing.
My both children got ill starting with Bia. I was like, ok , pray and it will be fine. Then a day later Wallace Junior started to go funny, now they were both coughing, with running nose, uncomfortable, unsettled nights and meals going manic.
I still decided to go to church on Sunday and they got really tired. On next day was the beginning of an amazing week. Perhaps for most of people, they would describe it horrible, but as each day unflods, I felt His peace, most of the times of course, had bad moments but recognizing straight away and remake it well again is the point. I decided to open myself to what I was going through and ask for prayer from fellowship. I felt amazing and loved with the answer from the loving church. Got prayer and comfort too from my sister. I felt ill too, terrible headache tired could not sleep, not eating meals properly, looking after 2 poorly anxious toddlers. I prayed and prayed then He relived me for some hours of sleep and renewed my strength and the Holy Spirit guided me. I got over laziness and fears, worries and Wallace's blood test went really well and quick and he was behaving well.
I was going to the doctor everyday; even Wallace's prescription was taking long and messy. Although I kept in peace. Its like I defeated myself to let the Holy Spirit guide me, I felt calm. Tired yes but my spirit was growing.
The trials kept coming. Family time always good but as we are learning to accept, to be kind to each other and just pray and leave it to God. Trust in God and actually everything will turn out well. Rejoice in the struggle.
Still tests going, now Wallace had to take antibiotics. His prescription again, and the pharmacy did not have the medication. Alone with them and very tired. I worshiped Him.
I realized that is what makes me get closer to Him and get over these storms. Jesus is our Lord and we must find peace in Him.
I have to remember again to understand that what others do, act or say must not provoke me. must not take it personally, just accept and if don't agree just pray about it take it to God and keep praying about it. Whatever is to happen He will know and allow what is best for us.
What others do is not directed to us. they are not hurting us but God. So leave it to God to deal with and pray about it. Don't let those things drift you from your focus. Keep doing what you meant to do . follow Jesus, whatever is going around. Keep doing your job, show the difference. Love, be kind and if God wants to use you He will put the right words in your mouth at the right time. And it won't be you but the holy Spirit moving into it and making his magic on it.
When I worship in the hard times I feel peace I look up and I know God is looking after us. I trust Him!
Growing spiritually!
I love Jesus because He rescues me, He gives me peace like no other in this world.
I love Jesus because He full fills my heart with joy
I love Jesus. I love to worship Him for what He is and does and done in my life.
July 2019
Transformed by trouble from Purpose driven life = read in January 2020
When I come to Portugal in September I entered in an environment that wasn't mine and after a few weeks I started to feel unwell inside. My routine was changed , I realized that during those first months in Portugal I forgot and stopped to put God first. I did not practice His will in meditating and speaking and sharing His word and love. I saw and heard things that broke my heart and left myself to be taken by emotions and confusion.
I forgot to be humble , patient , living with the ones that God gave me. But still HE was looking after me. Providing the material things that we need to live. To show how merciful He is even when we mess up.
The temporary circumstances took the best of me, my heart and worry. The temporary illness of Beatriz that people around me disturbed me making me worry about and keep constantly thinking about making me grow hurt in my heart towards them. The problem is that I made it bigger than my God. Not the illness itself but the situation around it.
Only Jesus can clean my heart with His word. By hearing it, reading, meditating on it, constantly non stop.
When I got time on my own again I searched God, with hearing sermons and reading books on His word. I saw I left gossip took over me , I was complaining about someone being a fariseu but I was judging like fariseus did. I did no better. I forgot to be humble because I got disturbed to see my standards and my children being pointed to suffer. The worst is that I knew I was being tested but I clearly did not understood the lesson at the moment.
I have to persist on being with God out of my comfort zone so He can shape me on what He wants me to be for Him.
